After a few months of struggling with energy and motivation, I succumbed. I stopped trying to fix everything externally. My diet, my exercise, my routine, my commitments. Yes, all of these are so important to my health and wellbeing, but they weren’t what I was lacking.
I turned inward instead. I realised that the imbalances I was struggling with could not be healed from the outside.
I thought I was supposed to do gentle exercise like Qigong and Yin Yoga. I thought I was supposed to eat heartier warming foods as my body settled into winter. I thought I was meant to cancel all commitments and slow the fuck down.
I did all of these things.
Sure, they helped a little. But I knew I needed to let go of the healing path that I had created in my mind. It would happen the way it needed to if I was just brave enough to really listen.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve deepened my meditation practice. I’ve spent more time in quiet moments. I’ve cultivated calm.
Yes, this is exactly what I needed. It’s a lesson I learn and re-learn. I was brought on this Earth to learn, love and succumb to the journey of inner peace. I’ve learnt it before and I’m sure I’ll learn it again.
For now, I’m grateful. I’m grateful to have found that tiny bit of inner peace which I was screaming out for.
So how does meditation work? How does finding inner peace become possible with a busy life?
Gabby Bernstein describes meditation as fine-tuning an instrument. When I read this, it was like all of the rationalisation that I had scrutinised for years had just drifted calmly over to me and landed in my lap. Of course! It’s exactly that.
People ask me if I have to meditate every day. They ask me what it’s like or how I stop from getting bored. They ask me what I get out of it. They ask how I know if it’s working. They ask if it can be used for a quick-fix. There’s so many answers, descriptions, justifications and defences to every question but none of them convey the beauty of meditation like tuning a loved instrument.
When a musician gets out their instrument, they know that they cannot perform without tuning it. They tap or puck at their instrument while they concentrate entirely on the sound that resonates. It bounces off of every surface in their environment and comes back to them. It may sound harsh. Sharp. Flat. They concentrate. They pour their attention into this simple task for just a few moments and then, there! That gorgeous sound vibrates in their ears and they know that they can now create a thing of beauty.
Imagine tuning into your mind, body and soul every single day. Imagine tuning into the world around you. Imagine no longer having your environment dictate your energy. Imagine no longer feeling flat. Imagine tuning in so that when you go out and meet the world, you are the best version of yourself. From this place, you can do anything and be anyone.
It’s why I meditate. Yes, I do it every day. No, I never get bored (although I did when I first started). Yes, it’s better some days than others. Yes, I have control over my willingness to learn from it. No, I don’t have to be good at it. No, I can’t directly link meditation with tangible results. Yes, I believe meditation has tangible results. These show up every day in my life when I am tuned in to the best version of me. It’s really as simple as that.
If you want to learn more about meditating, follow me on Instagram @feelosophywithalex or checkout some of my favourite teachers, resources & inspirations:
Light Watkins – @lightwatkins lightwatkins.com
The late, John Yates PhD – culadasa.com
Michael Sandler – Inspirenationshow.com
Jay Shetty – @jayshetty jayshetty.me